AMA Leadership Answer - How did you figure out what kind of leader you wanted to be, what was the turning point?
23 Mar 2026
In this moment:
Demi Van Malcot
The turning point was in my previous role back in 2018. I'd had a cycle of : leadership role -> lose confidence from mistakes -> take a contributor role -> get promoted to leadership role -> lose confidence from mistakes -> take a contributor role. That cycle was over a 15 year period.
Whilst I was in my last contributor role as an Automation Test Analyst I'm seeing the same cycle begin again. I'm beginning to influence people in my role, I'm becoming a go to person for not just updates but also general advice on quality. I can see leadership calling me again.
So I looked at myself and thought about my previous leadership roles. What was making me lose confidence?
Whilst I was in my last contributor role as an Automation Test Analyst I'm seeing the same cycle begin again. I'm beginning to influence people in my role, I'm becoming a go to person for not just updates but also general advice on quality. I can see leadership calling me again.
So I looked at myself and thought about my previous leadership roles. What was making me lose confidence?
- I couldn't help everyone in the team, there was always an isolated member I couldn't connect with
- I couldn't make big enough improvements to the outcomes for the team
- I couldn't influence my superiors on changes around quality
There it was staring me in the face..."I". I was taking responsibility for everything, so when things didn't go well or I was struggling I took it very personally. Whilst I and the team thought I was supporting them, I was actually defending them.
So when the opportunity came with this role to get into leadership again, I patiently worked on my mindset to do things differently. I found my principles in the first couple of years:
- I had to help the team take responsibility and be part of the solution. My role is to support them doing that - hands on or off - I go where they need me to
- I have to put their growth before mine. I can tell you now, if you do that, you grow too
- Success isn't one big thing, its lots of little things that add up. Those successes are achieved as a team, not as individuals. When things go wrong, we take that as a team too, no blame, we respond to help each other improve
- If we became an influential team by leading as a team, and selling what we do to those outside of Quality, influence will be so much easier
Still learning, still making mistakes, still improving. But the principles have stuck 🙏
Gary Hawkes
QA Lead
He/Him
Software QA Lead and tester who loves to see people grow, processes continuously improve and help organisations understand and support Quality Engineering
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